Saturday, August 31, 2013

First post and repost all at once

My name is Tashi and this is my blog. Herein, I'll be putting up things of interest to me, variously about kink and BDSM community and events, gaming and other geek interests, my own political and social thoughts and commentary, random posts about food, and other musings, ravings, rantings and random regurgitations.

I am going to be lazy for my very first post, and just put up something I wrote for (and on) Fetlife a few months ago.

Fetlife TOU

or why we should keep a culture of silence because nazis

That is, essentially, what I've been able to piece together from those opposed to ammending Fet's TOU to allow naming people who have violated consent. There is a lot of hand-wringing, and pearl-clutching, and "oh my lords!" being thrown about talking about how they don't want false accusations to ruin lives, and how creating blacklists is terrible and facists and on and on and on and fuckig on.
Except none of them ever address this simple point;
Why is it okay to encourage people to keep silent about abuse?
The vast majority of those supporting changing the TOU want one very. simple. thing.
To be able to go "I was at a play party, getting all spanked and shit in a side room, when so-and-so came over and started to spank me. I said "Red" and told him to stop but he didn't. My Top had to kick him out of the room and then he left the party before my top could find a DM"
That, right there, if it had a name? Would be deleted and considered a bad post.
That's bullshit on every fucking level, and encourages silence and ignorance of how people have acted in the community. It prevents a simple, public self policing that is required for a healthy community like this. It prevents the accused of being able to go "oh fuck, someone said I did X!" and then giving his side of it. It encourages gossip and talking in the shadows.
It is abhorrent, and it should be changed. The only way to keep this community safe and healthy is to keep all of this in the open. Will there be false accusations? Yes, definately. But those false accusations will now be WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE THEM AND TRACK THEM, as opposed to behind closed doors, veiled behind annonymity and secrets. How anyone would consider the latter to be better is beyond me.

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